truth is truth, no matter the sourcePosted: November 28, 2012
Reading for class, so OF COURSE I’m inspired to write a blog.
No, I’m not procrastinating, how DARE you accuse me of that!
I’m studying social work, and this particular reading is about the way women act in groups (relationships) vs how men act in similar settings. Yup, we act differently! Shocking, I know. I came across this:
Tannen (1990) describes a study by Johnstone involving community and contest that concludes that men see power as coming from an individual acting in opposition to others and to natural forces, and that life is seen as a contest. This fits with our understanding of the power and control stage for men. She goes on to conclude that for women, community is the source of power, and that for women the danger is being cut off from the community.
So that means that men need to feel that they have ability to oppose others, to express their ideas to have power. (Keep in mind that power in this context is a deeper meaning. It refers to the ability to have autonomy, to be a meaningful part of the group, but it does not mean to lord over the others). Women are able to have power in a relationship by feeling that are a part of the community.
It reminded me of a verse I always have issues with, as I am SUCH a feminist.
Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
In my newer understanding I see these verses this way:
Women, don’t try to control everything (even though we all know you totally could), let your husband have a say, it will make him feel valued by you.
Men, show your wife that you love her, treat her with respect as an equal, that is how she will feel that you value her.
Ok, I’m no expert on relationships, and certainly no Bible scholar. But I love when I see God’s truths expressed in VERY non-christian literature. And yes, I am procrastinating.